


The Pain in My Heart

by Saraste



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blindness, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Permanent Injury, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Sexual Assault, inumir - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-24 04:23:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7493685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraste/pseuds/Saraste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inuyasha is unlucky enough to accidentally cross paths with Naraku while alone, Naraku beats him near to death and sexually assaults him. What will become of Inuyasha's unresolved wish to pursue Miroku? And what will be the long-term effects of the attack?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this way back in 2007. That I'm now revising it and have decided to finish it is all katajainen's fault. ALL HER FAULT.
> 
> Revision beta'd by [katajainen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/katajainen/pseuds/katajainen). 
> 
> Originally posted on lj under the username saraste_impi, also on AFF and y!Gal under the username Saraste. I'm planning on posting once a week as I revise. Keeping the chapter content same as in the original chapters, even if combining might be a good idea, so the first ten or so chapters are really short.

Inuyasha would not let out how frightened he really was. He had to maintain a semblance of balance, of bravery. He laughed at the face of danger, didn't he? But he really should have known better, this time. For Naraku was his most formidable woe to date. And the evil one could smell his fear, anyway. But hiding it was a matter of pride to Inuyasha, he wouldn't give Naraku the satisfaction of seeing his fear. Bad enough he smelled it and revelled in it like he did.

 

Their fight was short. Inuyasha was glad for that. And for the fact that his companions weren't with him at the time because most of the area around him and Naraku was decimated by the kurohanyou's attacks. But he would have needed the backup.

 

In the end, Naraku had him pinned against a tree. Inuyasha still had strength left, so he struggled, his movements weakening by the second because of some poison Naraku had injected into his blood, limbs becoming sluggish and slow in their movement. Naraku had grazed him briefly with his weapon during their fight. Inuyasha had thought it was merely a scratch, nothing to concern himself over. That he'd dodged in time.

 

But now… He was pinned down and Naraku was ripping at his clothes. His face was entirely too close. And terror welled in Inuyasha, and he strove to struggle, _to get his body to move_.  Not this...

 

”Oh, my sweet Inuyasha..kukuku... What I will make you suffer through...”

 

Inuyasha was ripped apart, heart, body and soul. He had never in his life felt such pain, such helplessness. He withdrew into a corner in his mind, cowering and repeating to himself that it wasn't happening. The poison in his blood prevented him from retaliating, paralysing him, keeping him trapped in his body, awake. But still he felt every second of it, heard every word that was said only said to hurt him even more. His soul was being torn to shreds. Even more so as that one face, a grinning face surrounded by black hair, the form he often told himself not to stare, clad in dark purple and black, swam into his hazed, beaten mind. An image that faded as his body was abused, beaten, broken. For the other would not want him after this.

 

He felt the pain of claws slashing at his face. He cried as he felt the poison burning his eyes, his vision rapidly faltering and then.. nothing. He felt the other halt his movements for a second and lower himself near to his ear, whispering: ”You'll not see him again, ever...”

 

He tried to swallow the broken sob that escaped his lips but couldn't. Naraku laughed, an ugly, delighted sound, derisive, taking pleasure in his suffering. In the sounds he wasn't able to hold back now, his screams.

 

Then the movement, cruel, unforgiving and relentless, was resumed again and he felt the pain returning. Soon his body, his mind unable to take it any more, simply shut down, letting him drown into blissful nothingness.

 

Naraku left him there for dead. But his body refused to give in and he lingered on the very brink between life and death, even when death might have been preferred.

 

To be saved by his friends.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha's friends finally come to the scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG thanks aagain to katajainen, who beta'd this revision. TThere aren't really big changes to the content, mostly just revising the language.
> 
> I also took the executive descision to not combine any of the first ten or so chapters to make them longer as I'm still as attached to my cliffhangers now than in my early twenties, when I first conceived of this fic.
> 
> We'll see where the revision process takes me mood-wise and if I might even strucutre out the last chapters of this fic, which are still to be written after all this time. (I do know how I'm ending this.)

The group of Shard collectors were careful and alert as they approached the before-forested area,  for the lack of trees was a very bad sign. They had gone after Inuyasha when he had not come back when promised. He had said he was simply going ahead to scan the area and return when he could, and they had already waited for a long time. In the end, fidgety and worried, they had tracked Inuyasha down.

None of them were prepared for what they finally saw. A large swathe of the forest had been completely wiped out, some trees had fallen down on the ground, torn and mangled and signs of disintegration were also evident in the half-eroded stumps still standing on the ground. and The ground itself seemed to echo the violence which had taken place.

”Naraku…” Miroku whispered, the half demons  _ shoki _ was definitely responsible for this. The monk hastened his pace, keeping his staff in front of him, ready to strike, to defend. Behind him Sango stood alert, her hiraikotsu at the ready. Kagome was following farther after them, clutching Shippo to her chest, Kirara by her side.

Breath caught in Miroku's chest as he saw the lone figure lying on the ground, and in his haste, he threw away all caution and ran to the fallen hanyo, not caring if it was safe. The girls were mere steps behind him. After his first glance, he halted them, heart growing cold. ”Don't… don't come any closer...”

He dropped onto his knees to the ground. Hearing a horrified gasp behind him, he knew that the others had also seen. Inuyasha was splayed on his back, naked, his body full of deep gashes and lacerations, his positioning obscenely intimate. His face was a mess, and it was evident that his eyes were severely damaged, but with all the blood it was hard to tell the extent of the injury. The monk frantically searched for something to cover Inuyasha's naked form with and spied a torn piece of cloth that looked to because from his hakama not far off. He retrieved it and wrapped it to cover the hanyo. From the corner of his eye he'd seen that the demon exterminator was both restraining and comforting the distraught miko.

He knelt to carefully pick up Inuyasha's inert form and stood up, feeling blood seep through his clothes from Inuyasha’s copious wounds. That Inuyasha was still alive was a miracle, but his heart beat steady if irregular under Miroku’s fingers and he could sense the life still in him.

”We need to get him to Kaede's, he's barely alive.”

Sango helped him to Kirara's back and he held Inuyasha close to him. He turned to them before taking off. ”Keep safe and be careful!” Sango nodded, Kagome still crying against her shoulder. They weren't that far from the village and Naraku was known to vanish after he had done his evil, but it was better to be that extra careful.

Miroku gently steadied his grip on the wounded hanyo and took off. As he went, he prayed that Inuyasha would stay alive. A gentle smile adorned his face as he looked down at the hanyou's battered face. He had loved him for so long. He hoped he would not lose Inuyasha before they even had a chance to be together. He cursed Naraku under his breath. Hadn't the hanyo already suffered enough in the past? But Naraku's deeds were not driven by what was fair but by what amused him or was useful to him. It was clear Inuyasha had been left for dead.

Miroku soon arrived at the village and rushed into Kaede's hut.

 


End file.
